Jul
26

L is for Love (A Serial Killer Story)

Scarlett: Part III

Scarlett had been in New Orleans for over a month and she loved every moment of it. She couldn’t have asked for a better situation. Her job was going swimmingly. The fact that she always wore gloves had never raised any suspicion. Even under her work gloves was always a pair of elbow or wrist length gloves of some sort. Bruce had only commented on it once.

“So how many pairs of them gloves do ya own?” He asked not looking up from their work.

“Only five.” She replied keeping her eyes down. She had long prepared herself for a conversation like this one.

“I like the lace ones the best.” He said. The turn in the topic shocked her but her actions never gave away clue. “Ya know, there’s loads of costume and voodoo shops around here that sell gloves. Bet ya you could find some more. Why do you wear them things all the time though?” He finally stopped working and looked at her. This she was prepared for.

“Same reason as the scar.” She quoted dropping her head further as though she were remembering some painful memory. When Bruce had questioned her about it she had concocted a tale of an abusive boyfriend in Chicago. That was why she had left. With those five simple words Scarlett was free from any further scrutiny about her face and hands. The only downside to the entire situation was that Bruce had taken to calling her “Scar” all the time. He had let it slip once and since she giggled at it, he was off the hook and the nickname stuck.

Scarlett worked from eleven in the morning until six at night Tuesday through Saturday. Mondays were usually slow and Bruce had insisted on her having a “weekend” so she didn’t argue. She had finally set up a map of places that she would frequent. When she wanted a quiet place to unwind and write or people watch for fun, she would go to the Court of Two Sisters; for groceries she went to the Quarter Grocery; for hunting she would go to Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop on Bourbon. Her home base was Aunt Tiki’s. She was also very fond of The Herb Import Company, Reverend Zombie’s House of Voodoo, and Jackson Square. Scarlett kept to herself for the most part. The only people she really spoke to were the bartender at Aunt Tiki’s named Dave, a thirty-seven year old gay cynic and Flow and Audrianna, the owner of Reverend Zombies and her daughter. Other than that no one in the area seemed to notice her. She had wandered the French Quarter scouting on her “weekends” long enough. It was time to hunt. The sun was setting on Saturday night when she set foot outside the Charbonnet-Labat Funeral home. Bruce had closed up early so she had enough time after work for a nap, a shower, and a good meal before she set out for her first official night of hunting.

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Jul
25

L is for Love (A Serial Killer Story)

Cassie: Part II

During the day she would work and at night she would hunt. She frequented herself at bars up and down Bourbon Street during big events. It was usually crowded enough to lure an attractive, unsuspecting, usually drunk, young man to “escort” her home. Sadly enough, none of those men ever made it home themselves. When Bourbon was scarce, she would take a night off and relax at the Dungeon. Every once in a while she could pick up a straggler who had a few too many after closing. Cassie only had three rules: No locals (homeless and drifters excluded), follow your instincts, Cassie had a peculiar foresight for catastrophe so if anything felt wrong about the peculiar situation, she would abort, and the third rule was the most important, never fall in love. There was one time, however, that she broke all the rules.

There was a young man she had never seen before; he was beautiful. He had chestnut brown hair that had naturally brilliant topaz highlights. His skin was a smooth olive brown that enhanced every definition of his body that she could see. She spent the entire day shadowing him. The opportunity to have an “accidental” meeting presented itself in Jackson Square just in front of the Cathedral. She tripped on some loose bricks in the road and stumbled right into him and he caught her with both arms. If she could have fallen in love, she would have then. His eyes pierced through her as if they were scanning her soul. If she had believed in God she would have thanked Him that those eyes could do no more than see her flesh. They wouldn’t have been anything special to just anyone. Only someone as observant as Cassie could appreciate eyes like those, the deepest mahogany with slivers of gold that were accented by his highlights. After a short conversation and over exaggerated flirting from her part, he finally invited her to meet him later for a drink. She pretended to refuse so he would insist and once he did she shyly accepted and agreed to meet him in that same spot later that night; He was waiting for her when he arrived just after nine.

She was hoping to convince him to go to the Dungeon. With its obscenely loud music and lack of any real lighting, it made for the perfect hunting grounds. For the same reason however, many people avoided the location. The club of the same name that had its own entrance off the street usually attracted a very colorful array of people, mainly dressed in trench coats, corsets, fishnets, leather, and boots, all black. The bar was less attractive to the club goers but they still seemed to repel most people. She was ecstatic when it was he who suggested the very same bar. He was snared before they reached the entrance; he was hanging on her every word, smiling at every giggle and guiding her by the small of her back. They turned the corner from Royal to Toulouse Street. He pulled the rubber slabs covering the entrance out of the way so she could pass thorough untouched, except by him. Everything was falling into place perfectly until he heard her voice.

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Jul
24

L is for Love (A Serial Killer Story)

Viktor: Part III

The investigation started and ended quickly, at least it did for Viktor. When two people living right next door to each other suddenly disappear, it raises quite a commotion. There were news cameras, police, family and friends surrounding building twenty-one of the Sunset Park Apartments for about a week after it was finally reported. The boy in 2110 and the girl in 2112 had vanished into what seemed like thin air. No one had a clue about what could have happened. There were no signs of struggle, no blood stains, nothing. The two apartments simply looked as if their tenants had gone out for the day, only it had been a month. The authorities questioned everyone in the complex as well as the families of the two but no one could give them any insight into what had happened, but Viktor could, and he did, sort of.
Around the third night of the second week that the police were running their investigation, he wandered up to the fence and asked one of the officers what had happened, as if he had no idea.
“Two tenants have gone missing” the officer said.
“Really?” he asked. “Any leads yet, Officer Sanchez?”
“No, nothing yet, wait a second, how the hell do you know my name?” the officer was suddenly uneasy, which had been Viktor’s intent.
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Jul
23

L is for Love (A Serial Killer Story)

Scarlett: Part II
The taxi dropped her off on the corner of Dauphine and Toulouse in the French Quarter. It had taken her two years to work her way down to Louisiana. She should have made her transition more quickly, but there were things that needed to be taken care of. There was no real way the Chicago police would chase her down, but she needed to be more careful. She was getting sloppy. That truck driver in Iowa was sure to cause uproar, not to mention the waiter in Kansas. He had been in the navy and was just recently separated from his wife. Scarlett had given him an escape from both the loneliness and the pain. She shouldn’t have left him like she did, but at least the last thing on his face was a smile. That had been only a month after she left and she had only killed two other times on her journey and it was killing her. She got out and walked to the passenger window to pay the cabbie.
“What do I owe ya?” She asked in the most cordial tone she could manage.
“Fifty two twenty” he said with a grunt. Scarlett handed him sixty.
“Keep the change. Hey, by the way you know any crematoriums that might need help?”
“Hell woman!” He said snatching up the cash. “I’m just a cab driver not a damn want ad!”
“Sorry” She said backing away so the cab could speed off, “for nothing! Jack ass. Well, now where to?” Even though she was alone she spoke out loud. It was a really bad habit she just couldn’t rid herself of. Not far down the street there was a newspaper stuck in the gutter. She picked it up, sat down on the curb, lit a smoke and opened to the want ads. She scanned the listings and found a place that was advertising help wanted. She bundled up the paper and shoved it in her backpack.
“Now all I need is to find out how to get there.” Suddenly a voice boomed from behind her.
“Gets to where darh’lin?” Scarlett jumped at the voice. Read the rest of this entry »

Jul
21

L is for Love (A Serial Killer Story)

Viktor: Part II

The rain that splattered against the windshield of the car obscured Lynn’s vision more than the normal night sky usually did. She really needed to get a new pair of glasses; Lord knew every light she saw looked like the Bethlehem star from Christmas books when she drove at night. Damn astigmatism. Eight hours under fluorescent lights then immediate exposure to the night sky made it worse; staying open until eleven was just insanity for this line of work. That building was a concrete prison, or insane asylum, considering the dull white of the cinder block walls and and cracking concrete floors. Regardless, leaving that place suddenly unburdened Lynn and Matty, for neither of the two had to return until the day after tomorrow. Lynn squinted against the downfall as Matty provided comical conversation. The night ended like every other weekday night, she dropped him off at home and then headed to her own. “Thank for the ride dude,” he said as he pulled his skateboard out of the backseat of the car.

“Not a problem.” She replied as he shut the door and walked around to her window. “Peace off homie.”

“Later man.” He said as they traditionally bumped knuckles. “Be safe.”

“Always,” She replied, “or never, one of the two. Have a good day off.”

“You too, see you Wednesday.” He yelled over hi shoulder as he quickly jogged away with his skateboard over his head to block the rain. Lynn turned her steering wheel and took off through the broken lights of the street lamps in the direction of Sunset Park apartments. The rain was getting worse. She glanced at the neon time that beamed eleven thirty-four and realized she still had a few minutes to run by the grocery store and pick up a six pack. After her quick stop she would go home and relax as quickly as possible.

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Jul
18

L is for Love (A Serial Killer Story)

 

Cassie: Part I

              Cassandra found and lost her brother in the summer of 2000. In one of her mother’s drug induced frenzies of chatter, she revealed to Cassie that she had a half brother. That night Cassie’s mother and her new boyfriend overdosed on heroine. Cassie didn’t waste a second trying to find her brother. When she finally did, he refused to acknowledge her. His indifference to their maternal bloodline was more than evident. Frustrated by her brother’s denial, she set off on her own. Fueled by her resentment from his rejection and her desire to do to men what he had done to her, she confiscated what she required for her own operation during one of his “outings”. She stole five hundred dollars from the jar under his bed and a few of the syringes from a box in his dresser. She handled them with extra care. The clear liquid inside was a mystery to her but all she knew was whatever was in them was lethal. Cassie didn’t know if her brother even noticed what she had done, nor did she care. She was twelve, and if she didn’t exist, then neither would he, or any other man she deemed unworthy.              

               Her travels gave her seven years of age and experience in her new craft. In 2007 she settled in the 
French Quarter in New Orleans. She found a job bussing tables and washing dishes in one of the many restaurants 
that dotted the French Quarter and a cheap studio a short ferry ride away on the other side of the Mississippi. It 
was here that she had begun her operation and for the past year, had no complaints. There was a steady flow of 
strangers because of Mardi Gras and all the other year round parties going on in the French Quarter. Moving 
throughout the area unnoticed was like breathing to her. She gave new definition and imagery to the term “black 
widow”.

 

 

Jul
18

L is for Love (A Serial Killer Story)

Scarlett: Part I

 

Scarlett hadn’t wanted to kill Samuel. She had been planning to just let this one go, but after she caught him cheating on her, with a detective, she knew it had to end. She didn’t know what he knew or if it was even important, but like any killer, she kept trophies. Scarlett was a skilled photographer, but an even better murderer. It was a pity that it had been so brutal; it shouldn’t have been, but he just wouldn’t die. She didn’t plan on his muscles being so dense considering how skinny he was. She had even administered a double dose and he still kept fighting. It took her twice as long to drag his body into the furnace room because of the extremity of dead weight. She wasn’t a particularly large or strong woman, just crafty. She used the incinerator that was out of order because of a broken door but she thought it safer still; her boss wouldn’t check this one for extra use. After painstaking effort to get his body in, she fired it up. She was pushing the door closed with one of her abnormally long fingernails when Read the rest of this entry »

Jul
17

L is for Love (A Serial Killer Story)

This is the first segment of a story that was nearly five years in the making. It began as a writing assignment in college and was worked on slowly but surely until I was happy ending it. Countless hours of research, bottles of wine, pots of tea and/or coffee, pints of beer, and boxes of goldfish are thanked for the making of this story. I introduce you to Scarlett, Viktor, and Cassie, my stars. A new segment every day! A love story…and killing people. Enjoy!

 

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Jul
14

Batman’s Big Adventure

Taking a suggestion from an audience member, Jimmy Fallon put together this little nugget of hilarity, dubbing over the trailer for The Dark Knight Rises with Pee Wee Herman voices. It’s brilliant.

Here’s the official trailer for all you purists out there:

Don’t forget! The Dark Knight Rises July 20th!

Jun
29

Fantastic Moyage

Maiden Voyage + Moya = MOYAGE!!!!!

It all began with a big dream and a bigger desire to get out of New Mexico. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t a bad place to live; there are fantastic sunsets and everything is within a thirty minute drive, but when you live in a Volkswagen Vanagon, the summer heat can get to you. After two years of working without a vacation, my significant other, Jeremy and I hit the road chasing cooler weather and new adventures.

We left Albuquerque on Monday, June 11th after we cashed our last paychecks from Turtle Mountain Brewing Company, one of the best breweries in the greater Albuquerque area. We headed north on I-25 to Santa Fe where I spent my last night in the state of New Mexico with my best friend Stephanie Alm. We had tacos and beer and sang show tunes until midnight. At nine the next morning we were on the road headed for our new life.

Highway 84 took us north through the Santa Fe and Carson National Forests where we said goodbye to the landscape we knew so well and don’t want to see again for awhile; after seeing the desert on fire last year, we couldn’t bear to see it again. As we journeyed, dust plateaus and tumbleweeds gave way for the lush green mountains of the San Juan forest. Mother Nature laid a beautiful blanket of road before us and we ran with it. Highway 84 came to a fork in Pagosa Springs Colorado and we turned west on Highway 160 toward Durango. The Rocky Mountains were nothing but breathtaking with their massive cliffs and lush valleys and water; I only suppose that it’s hilarious to watch two people from the desert when they see water.

We arrived in Durango around three in the afternoon, parked Moya to rest and started wandering downtown. As a snowboard enthusiast, I’ve been to Durango quite a few times  but somehow it looked different when it wasn’t covered in snow.

After walking a few blocks and eyeing some menus of local restaurants, I was determined to find Steamworks Brewery. A U-turn and a few blocks back in the opposite direction I found our destination on Eighth just off of Main Street, which happened to be across the street from where we parked.

Taking up temporary residence at the bar we sank a few beers and noshed on a smoked salmon flatbread appetizer. The two I.P.A.s were a little too malty for Jeremy but the Colorado Kolsh was delightfully refreshing and smooth. Everything was great, although it was painful for Jeremy and me to pay full price for a beer since growing accustomed to paying a dollar a pint at TMBC when we worked there; nevertheless, we enjoyed our break.

We also met a very nice guy named Josh, or 3JVJ as his friends call him, who offered to let us stay at his place. With thanks, we declined because we wanted to stay at a campsite. A few miles out of the city limits we came to Hermosa where we veered off Highway 550 and followed mountain roads, as directed by the gas station attendant, and found free camping. We set up shop, cooked dinner, and enjoyed our night in the Rocky Mountains.

We awoke with a chill that was more than welcome; anything is better than being woken up at seven in the morning by the New Mexico sun in a puddle of sweat, especially when half of the puddle was made by someone else. No matter how much you may love someone, it still isn’t pleasant to wake up in their body juice. We made hash browns and oatmeal with dried fruit for breakfast and walked down the path to the forest map to decide whether or not we wanted to stay for a while. After a nice walk and some deliberation we decided to hightail it to Washington. We had just enough money to get us there so we packed up and headed out.

 We left around ten in the morning and the Rocky Mountains that surround 550 were nothing less than glorious in the cool light of the morning. We knew Moya, our van, would have some trouble going up steep hills so we made sure to prepare for it before we left New Mexico.

As prepared as we were for the uphill battles, we really undershot our level of preparedness for the downhill coasters. We felt like we were in a soap box derby in San Francisco. The drive was terrifyingly breathtaking. Narrow roads, steep cliffs, and no guardrails combined with steep inclines makes for one hell of a ride in a VW that wants to go speeds she should never reach. We stopped for a photo opportunity and to fill up on gas in Silverton Colorado, which again I’d been to before but still looked different to me without snow.

More twisted mountain roads took us further into the Rockies and to our lunch destination, Ouray Brewing. One of the regulars from TMBC, Chris Ksanznak, told us we had to stop and have a beer there and we are glad we did! I had a wonderfully smooth red that had hints of caramel and Jeremy had another IPA which was again too malty but still good. The best part about this bar, besides the open air, rooftop patio is the swings at the bar. Yes, you read that correctly; there were wooden swings that hung from industrial-sized cables, like the ones on ski lifts. It was the coolest thing we had ever seen and the other couple at the bar agreed. Forgetting what a change in altitude can do to sobriety caused us to walk around the town for awhile before we could get back on the road. To save some money we had a picnic in Moya instead of paying for food and then got back on the road. The plan was to make it to Highline Lake and spend the night and then try to make it through Utah in a day. Moya had different plans. Read the rest of this entry »

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